Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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