Is it normal to miss your booty call?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
