Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
