My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
