i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
