Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
are you so shy because you have an std?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
