I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
