i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
