She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
