One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
