It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
