Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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