butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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