do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize