hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
How does one acquire holy water?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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