I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize