i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
We had sex on a dog bed..
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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