Already got asked if we're dating
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Randomize
