i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
