It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
