sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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