im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
