I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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