Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
