if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
