I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
oh god the rape fog is back!
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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