Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
