It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
don't judge my taste in strippers
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
