omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
