is your mom at the bar?
I want to stick my p in your. b.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
