Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
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He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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