you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
