and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
