the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
