Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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