My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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