My girlfriend figured out who you are.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
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