im holly from the hills drunk
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
