Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
