At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
