Taylor Swift is so right about you.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
