Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
