definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
