her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Randomize
