So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
