the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
