This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize