You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I feel like death gave me a hand job
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
