we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
