Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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