I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
