she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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