It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize