Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
