4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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