so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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