i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
My cat gives me a boner
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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