Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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