I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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