Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize