I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
