just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
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