he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize