College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
