whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
