these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
